Mica died on 2-2-05 and i'm really sad about that. the house feels empty even though all of his toys are still here. even my old stuffed animal marmalade that mica used to kneed is still here and ive been hugging it becuase it still smells like him. i didnt want mica to kneed marmalade because he was mine and he was very special to me, but now i wish that i hadnt taken my stuffed cat away from mica, he could have had so much more fun. and the day he got killed i was practicing guitar and mica was rubbing his beautiful head against the neck and i pushed him away so i could practice more, and i just wish i had one more day to love and hold mica like he always wanted to be. he'd always sit in my lap while i was playing my guitar so he could feel the vibrations from the strings, and he'd always comfort you when you were crying becuase he was such a good boy that he didnt want anything bad to happen to you. and when it was cold outside he'd get in his little bed and cozy up with wavey my other cat and they'd just sleep together. if he was alone when it was cold i'd move him and his bed over to the heater just to hear him purr. but he would save his purring for special occasions when i really wanted to hear him, because if he purred all the time then it wouldnt be so cool, but as he saved his purrs he made when i cried or when he was infront of the heater really really special, and i loved him for that. But i was really mean to him, he'd cry for food when i got home from school and i'd feed myself first and then feed him but i always knew he was hungrier. and when i was little i used to dress him up and i knew he didnt like that. and when he was crying for food his tail would get under christine or my foot and he would cry becuase it hurt. i feel like i treated him so badly and i hate myself for that. we live in a small apartment and he deserved much better than that, he wanted to be back at manitou where he was a kitten untill we moved and he could run freely there, but here on garden street we had to keep him inside becuase he got into fights with other cats and the cars on garden street go really fast. i feel horrible now that hes gone. i could have saved him, becuase when bob let him out of the house he told me that mica had crossed the street and i could have gone and got him. but i didnt becuase i'm too lazy, if i had just gotten up and crossed the street everything would be better. he was just going back home to me when the car got him. but thankfully he died instantly so he didnt suffer much. but i cant stop thinking that he still might be alive under the dirt and he cant get out. i was too afraid to hold him after he died and now i wish i had becuase my cowardness kept me from moving him from this world to the next and maybe i could have helped him out but i was too afraid. i love him. and i am so sorry that i didnt help him cross the street.